True Friends.. Are Hard To Come By....

Yup Indi's back! Life has been really sad ever since I got the news of my dad going into coma. Eventhough we are not so close but I've always respected and loved him for making me a strong individual. I thank him for all that he thought me during my childhood days and seeing him in a vegetable state-yes a big man, proud and full of ego, now lying still and almost motionless, barely surviving on a life support machine makes me think again that life is so short and so fragile. Well I just got back from India-Yup! Incredible India-after having lost my valuables(camera, 2 handphones and some cash and to top that all a bill that came to RM720 as the thief used my line to the max.
However, last Thursday on my way to Miri and at 30,000ft above sea level, my thoughts started pondering on the meaning of friendship and the people who couldn't- care- a- less about what others have to say. The predicament that I went through- little did I know-was also shared by my friends in the office. I was really touched by their sincere thoughts and kind words of encouragement but above all the initiative that they took to cover some of my losses won my heart. It is not so much of the money that matters but the Thought That Counts. I never expected them to do this but they went- all- out- against all the odds to ensure (eventhough they know I don't need it) that they show me they are my family and they care about me. It is really hurting to know when a kind deed by friends is deemed and perceived as setting precedents and what not. And worst still, coming from people we regard as close friends. Such shallow thinking. I mean if you don't want to be part of something good then please, just remain silent so as not to hurt the other person(s). I always believe that when people do something good they always do it sincerely and without malice and not of setting precedents. Imagine if the world is full of people worrying about setting precedents at every kind gesture then who is going to help the people in need of help? Help can come in many forms not necessarily money. Like the old infamous but often misused adage- A FRIEND IN NEED IS A FRIEND INDEED. But when you see your own close friends stopping others from doing kind deeds and lament about setting precedents, it really hurts. The best or the least one can do is to remain silent because if you call some one your friend then it should be you-the one to take the first initiative- without even pausing for a moment to think about helping. Helping a friend can come in many ways. I know I m blunt but I have wondered in times past if I need to tone this down(which I have over the years)...or if I can, for that matter. Being honest is so key in my friendships that I can't imagine not telling someone the truth if they ask for it. But we all know "friends" who do this. They tell you what they think you want to hear. Are they being true to you? Seriously, do you ask if you look fat in a pair of jeans because you want your friend to tell you that you look skinny and walk around looking chubby? Or would you rather a friend tell you that they aren't flattering....and help you find a pair that look great on you?! I pick brutal honesty over misguided kindness.When my friends ask me for my opinion on something...I give it to them straight. Hey, they asked, so I assume they really want to know what I think. But make no mistake, there are some people out there they really don't want to know the truth.....they just want someone to tell them that what they are doing is O.K....even if you think it isn't. That their choices in life are not selfish, or dangerous, or misguided....even if you think they are.These people don't really want friends, they want enablers. They want people in their lives that can give that affirmation for behavior that they know isn't healthy for them or those they love.My life is too crowded for "friends" like that.Thank You to all of the honest women and men in my life who I call "friend".I couldn't survive without you.
Even if your life is perfect and everything is running like clock work, one day you still may get into trouble or there will be a problem that you will not be able to solve yourself. What you do is call a friend, a person whom you can always rely on. He or She will never betray you and your secrets, never lie, never deceive. Once you have no way out and problems seem to surround you like enemies, your mind goes blank and the only desire you have is to hide your head in the sand and pretend that you don't hear or see what is going on. And then the friend comes, the rescuer, a fresh mind and a strong hand to pull you out to the surface and help you to face your problems. But does your friend correspond to that description? We are surrounded by a lot of people daily, who claim to be our friends. We spend much time with them thinking of them as friends. But when it comes to help or advice they all seem to disappear, to evaporate suddenly after leaving you with a thousand made up excuses. You feel deceived and have no idea of what to do. Then a thought dawns on you that in your phone book there is still a number of an old friend of yours that you haven't seen for years now. You know that if you call this person and ask for help, he'll wake up in the middle of the night, loan you all his money, give shelter even if he has a family of six to keep. A friend like him will even cover your back when you had some of your crazy affairs and never complained when he had been getting in trouble for his help. He always seemed to fail his work to try his best to do your work. But there is also strange thing you remember; you didn't really appreciate all his efforts to help you. They were so numerous that you started to take them for granted and didn't even pay attention to what had been done for you.
It was so weird to see that somebody was ready to help you out of willingness to make your life better, that it was hard to believe that it was so. It was an inseparable part of your friendship. If you are a friend you have to give, do, make and so on. But in the world we live today Friendship is turned into an exploitation of a person who cares about you. Meanwhile you continue to have fun and relax with others and leave all the difficult things on your friend's hands. Than suddenly you've stopped communicating. After all these years of true friendship your friend disappeared and there was no sign of him for a long time. "Oh well, that wasn't a big loss", you think, and continue to live not even trying to find out what has happened. And now you are making a poor show every time you try to improve the situation. There is nobody beside you and you burst into curses, thinking about liars that surround you now. You dial a number of an old friend with shaking hand and pray for him to be there for you. You hear a familiar voice and start explaining, and ask to forgive at the same time. The situation goes back to normal. You feel that everything is going to be alright; your friend is coming to save the day. A minute later you sit in the kitchen drinking coffee and look in your friend's wise worried eyes. At one moment you turn into a normal person from the idiot. But sometimes it is too late.............. To my family(The list as was given to me after much forcing) that never stopped giving, loving and caring sincerely for me even when I tried to stop you guys- CINDY, ESTHER, JAIMIE, JASON, PIRASAH, JIN HUI, STEFAN,MICHELLE, JULIA, ANIS, SUH MIN, MANROSHNI, NEON (AND IF I MISSED OUT ANY ONE PLEASE LET ME KNOW SO THAT I CAN ADD YOUR NAME TO MY FAMILY LIST) I AM PROUD AND HONOURED TO HAVE ALL OF YOU AS MY FRIENDS AND ABOVE ALL AS MY FAMILY. THANK YOU FOR BEING WONDERFUL, KIND, CARING AND SINCERE FRIENDS TO ME.