To Love And Be Loved

Enough of Sikhism for the time being. I have to write this. I know I have written about it before but Yes, I just have to write it again. I had a wonderful dinner with a dear friend last night who is apparently having some difficult time in a relationship. Eventhough there is so much pain in her but yet she made my dinner conversation with her an enjoyable one. When I reached home my thoughts pondered again on this topic called Love. And I would like to share with all of you, what went in my head.

LOVE- it's the one thing everybody talks about, but few truly understand. People have always searched for love - love with family (in particular with parents), love with friends, love with intimate partners. Most of us are never completely fulfilled, and many are miserable their entire lives.

It seems almost to be an elusive pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. We grow up believing that "one day I'll have it", and yet, in human terms, what does love really mean?For many people love means acceptance. Fooled into believing that to be loved is to be accepted, and to be unloved is to be an outcast, we use (actually, we abuse) the word "love" as a reward for good behaviour. We believe that if we behave a certain way, or adopt a particular way of thinking, we will be loved more and therefore accepted. And on top of that, we do things in order to please others in the hope that we will be loved just that little bit extra. Loving and pleasing are not the same thing.

Love has become conditional. "If you don't do this, I won't love you anymore". How many parents have told their children that they won't love them if they continue misbehaving or being disobedient? How many couples have told each other they will love them more if they do as they are told? Love is not a prize to be idly thrown about as a bribe. Love is serious stuff because we have lost sight of what love really is. If we truly understood love, we would stop playing games with each others emotions and lives and not use it to emotionally blackmail each other for personal gain.Real love is unconditional love, and means exactly that - unconditional.

Loving someone exactly as they are, not trying to make them into someone we may be more comfortable with, just 100% acceptance. But how do you know you can unconditionally love someone? Well, you have to start by unconditionally loving yourself.Unconditional love can only be expressed when we have experienced it for ourselves. We expect to be loved by others, but we find it difficult to accept the necessity of loving ourselves first in order to understand what it means to express love. Unconditional love stems from forgiving ourselves and others in order to find the compassion and understanding necessary to know what it means to unconditionally accept a person, and we can only do that when we unconditionally accept ourselves.

When we know what it means to unconditionally love we free ourselves from our emotional limitations and allow others to be themselves. We stop judging and condemning, we stop criticising and manipulating. Unconditional love nurtures the growth of wisdom, and fosters the principle of truth, for without truth unconditional love is unable to exist. Love will only exist in an honest heart, free from fear and doubt. Become honest with yourself and you will find what you are looking for, but avoid facing the truth within and the illusion of conditional love with keep you from true happiness.Recognising our inner fears is the first step towards unconditional love. Many people fear intimacy; we fear allowing another person to get close to us and find out who we really are, insecurities and all.

We fear we will be rejected because deep down we don't think we're good enough, yet a fear of intimacy and love always destroys a relationship before it has even begun. If we are honest with ourselves, we would recognise all the wonderful things about us that make us unique and irreplaceable. Knowing and loving our uniqueness will attract a person into our lives who will love us as we are. Living a lie or an illusion will only serve to create further illusion and deception, eventually resulting in misery. Unconditional love is the greatest lesson humanity can learn.Love is a pure state of being; it is ever present, growing and evolving through unconditionally loving ourselves, and then having the understanding to share that unconditional love with another.

Learning to forgive those we believe have emotionally hurt us, we can bring unconditional love into our lives by changing our thoughts and our entire outlook on life. Through forgiveness we can touch the essence of our love, and change the perception we have of our life.Love is the most important thing in life; without it, we make our life harsh and cruel, empty and meaningless. The rainbow is in our hearts, and love really is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, waiting for us to claim it as our own.

Guru Nanak - Founder Of Sikhism Part 2

Lets continue the journey of Guru Nanak in Part 2

BARGAIN:
In spite of the accumulating evidence about the spiritual greatness of the Guru, Mehta Kalu was not convinced and thought that his son was wasting time in profitless contemplation. So he wanted to put him to trade. He gave the Guru twenty rupees (Indian currency) and sent him to the nearest town- Chuharkana, to buy goods of common use and then sell them at a profit. The family servant Bala was also sent with him.

On his way the Guru met a group of faqirs (ascetics) who were hungry for several days. The Guru spent all the money in feeding the faqirs and called it a true bargain. He realized the nature of his act and did not go home but sat under a tree outside his village. Bala went home and he narrated the whole story to his father. The father became very angry but the Guru explained to him that he could not think of a more profitable bargain. The aged tree under which he sat is still preserved. It is called Thumb Sahib or the holy tree in memory of the Guru. All this failed to have any effect on Guru's disinclination towards ordinary world affairs and he remained deeply immersed in meditation.

GURU'S MARRIAGE:
In order to bring him around the worldly affairs, the next step came the marriage. The marriage date is given different in different Janamsakhis (birth stories), and it is presumed that he was between 14 to 18 years of age when he got married. His wife, Sulakhni, was the daughter of Bhai Mula, a resident of Batala in Gurdaspur district. She gave birth to two sons, Sri Chand and Lakhmi Das. His father soon found out that even the married life did not divest him of his pre-occupation with matters pertaining to his Divine mission.

As a matter of fact, his concept of duty was not to serve himself and his family rather to transcend it so that the self might participate in the divine scheme of things and spiritualize the world around him. Humanity was his family and serving the humanity was the service of the Lord. Bhai Gurdas writes that the Guru saw the whole world in flames; flames of falsehood, tyranny, hypocrisy and bigotry. He had to go and extinguish that fire with eternal love, truth and dedication. He had the divine mission to teach to humanity, the lesson of the brotherhood of mankind and the fatherhood of God. "The Primal Being created the Light; all men are the creation of Providence: all human beings have sprung from one Light. Who, then, is bad and who is good?"

GURU NANAK COMES TO SULTANPUR:
Jai Ram, Guru's brother-in-law was serving as Dewan (Minister) to the governor, Nawab Daulat Khan Lodhi of Sultanpur. It is said that both Jai Ram and Rai Bular were of the opinion that Nanak was a saint misunderstood by his father; and thus Jai Ram promised to find a job for him in Sultanpur. Guru's sister was deeply devoted to her younger brother. On their annual visit to Talwandi, when she noticed her father's impatience at her brother's indifference towards worldly activities, she decided to take him to Sultanpur. Her father gave his consent. Jai Ram got the Guru the post of a store-keeper of Nawab's state granary where the grain was collected as a part of land revenue and later sold.

The Guru carried out the duties of the store-keeper very efficiently. The minstrel Mardana subsequently joined the Guru and other friends too followed. Guru Nanak introduced them to the Khan, who provided them suitable jobs in his administration. Every night there was Sabad-Kirtan (singing divine hymns). One day he was weighing provisions and was counting each weighing as 'one, two, three.........ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen'. When he reached the number thirteen (13)- 'Tera' (in Punjabi language Tera means number 13, and Tera also means 'thine', that is 'I am Thine, O Lord'), he went into ecstasy. He went on weighing by saying,"Tera, tera, tera,......." The customers did not know how to carry the bountiful gifts of this store-keeper. They could not understand the bounties of the Lord.

Ultimately the situation reached its climax when a charge was levied against the Guru that he was recklessly giving away the grain. The Nawab ordered an inquiry which was conducted very carefully. The Guru's detractors were surprised when the stores were found full and the accounts showed a balance in favor of the Guru. After that the Guru sent in his resignation to the employer to embark on his divine mission.
To BE CONTINUED IN PART 3.........