Friendship: It's A Special Relationship

February 1st was a public holiday for us who work in the Federal Territory as it was a Federal Territory Day. My colleagues (not all though) and I, including our Boss decided to take this opportunity to go to Pangkor Island for bonding and relationship building time. I am still recovering from this extremely indulgent weekend. The journey there was interesting as we passed through 'kampungs'(villages) and there was a lot of 'green' along the way which you don't see in the city. While being at Pankor Island we were no longer colleagues or Boss and employee kind of relationship. We were friends. We joked, we laughed, and of course we had lots of fun together. It was amazing how all of us cared for one another and ensured that no one was left out from having fun. There was team spirit. As I was sitting on the beach my thoughts started wondering, can colleagues be friends or do they just remain colleagues and acquaintances (like some people in the office think so)? As the sunset drew nearer I started pondering over the meaning 'friendship' and 'relationship'. Are they the same or different? Or you can be friends but no relationship or is friendship a special relationship? I pondered and explored this subject upon reaching Kuala Lumpur and discovered............

There is no relationship quite like that of friendship. Not so irrational as love, yet far more intense than acquaintance, friendship is perhaps the least understood of human interactions.
Actual knowledge about friendship continues to be sketchy at best. Yet some popular wisdom is useful in examining the bond between friends:
…Friends have some interests in common.
…Friends share an on-going relationship, with periodic (although not necessarily regular) contact.
…Friends trust one another, at least to some extent, with information, money, safety, other relationships.
…Friends can say “no” to each other and still remain friends.
…Friends can see, and accept, the worst in each other.
…Friends rarely feel they “owe” each other anything; give and take is without obligation between them (perhaps with some limits!).
…Friendship is also characterized by understanding, communication, acceptance, lack of embarrassment, trust.

Friendship is held within us, an attitude toward another person much like love, anger, or prejudice. It requires no regular outward expression. It requires merely a feeling of commitment to the relationship. Often such a feeling is supported by the belief that the other person cares about you, that the other values the relationship as well. If we believe that we are important to each other — important enough that we think of each other warmly now and again — we will likely remain friends, even if we don’t see each other for years.

I also discovered that if you act assertively most of the time, you are more likely to have satisfying relationships than if you act in nonassertive or aggressive ways.
Do offer these assertive skills when developing a friendship:
• Take the risks necessary to build an acquaintance into a friend.
• Allow yourself to be seen as you are by your friend.
• Share something of yourself you would not ordinarily tell someone else.
• Be spontaneous with your new friend, suggest an activity on the spur of the moment, really listen to what is important in your friend’s life.
• Ask your friend’s advice with a problem or help with a project (remembering that an assertive friend can say “no” and still like you!).
• Simply tell the person you like him/her.
• Clear the air between you; if you are annoyed or suspect that your friend may be, bring it up.
• Get honest. Don’t let assumptions define your relation­ship. If the relationship can’t handle it, it probably would not have lasted anyway; if it can, you’ll be miles ahead!

Exploring this meaning, I am thankful that I have friends who are also my colleagues and buddy you should have been there. :) Anyways can't wait for another trip with you guys.