Down Memory Lane........

As I sat at StarBucks Yesterday sipping down my Latte, yes, Latte- my favourite drink, while looking at some of my childhood pictures posted on my facebook by my childhood friends, it brought back many good old memories as well as some sad memories and regrets. My thoughts went back to 1986 when I was in form 5 and knew this girl in the neighbouring school (Convent School) because we went to the same tuition centre. This memory in particular, brought back saddness and regrets.

Well there are so many cases in our life that make us regret of the things we did or didn't do and when we look back we very often tell to ourselves, if I knew then what I know now I wouldn't behave like that and wouldn't regret of it now.

You see she was always trying to be in my company and was eager to become my close friend as she had no friends at the tuition centre. I wasn't looking for her friendship as I had quite a lot of friends and making new friends was not in my interest at that time and I was always trying to escape from her view when she was coming towards my group of friends during our in-between-tuition breaks.

Once she bought two tickets to a funfare and invited me to join her. I accepted her invitation but decided not to go. The next day I have learnt that my tuition mate went to the funfare but didn't enter the place because I didn't go. She didn't speak to me after that event and was all alone without anybody's company. I didn't regret that as I was very young and didn't understand things that I understand now.

A few months later my tuition mate died from leukemia and first time in my life the feeling of regret visited me and I was ashamed of my behavior. As time passed by and I grew from my childhood I understood the real meaning of friendship.

From my own experience I learnt that very often people who you had considered to be your friends can leave you alone, when you are in need, or when you are facing difficult and hard times in your life and again return to you when you prosper or when they need your help.

I understood that true friends who dedicate their life to each other, who are loyal, trusted and loving are very rare to find and if you have such kind of friends you are one of the luckiest people of the world. And looking back I realized that I had someone in myh life that was ready to be such kind of friend for me but I didn't accept her friendship and lost my chance of having a true, sincere and devoted friend.

If only I knew the real meaning of friendship and dedication then, I wouldn't upset my tuition mate and would try to bring some bright moment to her short life becoming her best and closest friend in this life. I will always remember you and miss the friendship that could/should have been......... with you Gina Tan................ I M SORRY FOR WHAT I DID BACK THEN.